Wernham Hogg Forum

Dananiel · Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:24 am Celebrity Big Brother

Fuuuckkkingg hell.

I can't believe how much I hate Jade. She's obviously a twat but jesus christ.

BILLY V2.0 · Thu Jan 18, 2007 1:08 am

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED

BILLY V2.0 · Thu Jan 18, 2007 1:31 am

actually fuck it. i'm not busy.

i can't believe davina mcall is actually a presenter. she has done NOTHING since the last big brother. they just roll her out whenever a new series to make awful jokes and cretinous references to her being known as a "big mother" despite the joke being on her, she thinks she has somehow turned it around so it's now her "thing". she just shouts everything, is in no way attractive nor does she actually have any quality about her person that makes you think she is in any way suited to any other style of television than the incredible tedium that is big brother.

dermot o'leary - i actually quite like him, which is why it annoys me that he does daily big brother shows. in his defense he is quite funny, and does attempt to liven things up, but he's surely capable of presenting something better, but i suppose if the pay cheques keep coming in, it doesn't matter.

russell brand - surely the most irritating new celebrity of 2006. i fucking loved it when his new chat show got absolutely diabolical ratings, but c4 gave him another fucking go! his standup literally involves looking adrogynously handsome and reading from the sun newspaper. brilliant, comics never take the piss out of the tabloids, do they russell? you're only a minor celebrity thanks to the fucking tabloids, you dickhead! i think rob brydons impression of him on the first season of anually retentive basically summed him up. i'm sure one day the teenage female population will realise how rubbish he actually is, but until then we're stuck with him.

i won't even go into why i hate jade. it's simply not worth it. i truly hope both she and her mothers awful behaviour this series explodes in their face and they finally disappear from the public eye. there would be a poetic beauty in her "career" both beginning and ending inside that house. i really do feel sorry for shilpa. i've only seen the clips off the news, but the gang mentality in there is just horrible. you can guarentee in a few months there will be a new series with even more mentalists in though

BILLY V2.0 · Thu Jan 18, 2007 1:38 am

i would love to see stewart lee interview jade goody. i actually think lee would lose his temper before goody

Dananiel · Thu Jan 18, 2007 1:59 am

So you haven't been watching this one? To be honest, I find the standard Big Brother really shit, but celebrity big brother is always amazing. Did you see tonights? Honestly, I was so angry at one point I screamed WHAT THE FUCK SOMEBODY PUNCH HER. Then I felt a bit silly. God, I can't believe how much I hate her. She'd completely void of anything that makes up a nice human being. She fucking blabs on about how she's the salt of the earth and she just speaks her mind. That's bullshit, she's a nasty piece of shit that enjoys having fights and being rude to people. She says she always says things to people's faces, but she bitches just as much! All of this would be all fine and fucking well if it weren't for the fact that she's just so inherently fucking PUNCHABLE. You can tell when she's arguing that she's definitely in the right when she BLATANTLY isn't, her fat piggy cheeks wobble and she just shouts the same shit again and again. This is what fucks me off, if you';re gonna be a twat, at least be articulate about it. There's nothing worse than watching somebody think they're making loads of shit-hot points and witty, snappy put-downs, when in fact they're talking absolute fucking shit. A good example of that...

Shilpa: You know what? Your claim to fame is this.

Jade: MAH CLAIM TO FAME IS YAO! ...YOU EFFIN' IDIOT!

WHICH DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE AT ALL. AT ALL. But this is where the most annoying thing with Jade lies...she then had this smug look on her face as if she just fucking put her in her place! NAH MATE. NAH.

Sometimes violence really is the only option.

God I needed that rant.

BILLY V2.0 · Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:11 am

nah. i haven't been watching it at all, apart from the very first episode. donny tourettes is an absolute tosspot. i did see that excellent retort by shilpa though. it's a shame it went right over jades head. apparently jade's agent is the same agent that davina and dermot have, and endemol have already struck a deal with jade and her mum for an osbournes style documentary later in the year so it's fairly obvious to see why she is able to get away with being an complete fucking retard on national telly. the bit i saw earlier was when shilpa asked quite innocently who had used the gravy cubes or something, and jade jumped off the sofa, shouting and generally trying to intimidate her. you just know the sort of person she was growing up. what makes it even worse is that her mother is there, clearly showing no regret or sympathy for the people that are the victim for their behaviour. they are both utterly grotesque.

i only turn my telly on for 2 pints of lager nowadays, which i have to admit is great once you watch a few eps

LankyGoggleEyedFreak · Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:11 am

Jade also said "she thinks she's above me" Well....yes Jade she is you monkey faced baboon!

Dananiel · Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:40 am

Haha, I love how everybody slowly comes around to Two Pints.

I reckon another reason I hate Jade is because my school was full of girls like that. I remember one time this group of girls just kept calling me a goth (I had a Nirvana t-shirt on) and being generally antagonistic towards me. I had a small rant at them, purposely using words I knew they wouldn't understand and basically called them worthless plebs. They barely acknowledged it, but it was satisfying to say it. So maybe Shilpa is satisfied. I hope so.

Jade is worse, though, because whenever I see these types of people (I don't mean the working classes, honest!...well, I do) I take comfort from the fact that they're destined for an unadventerous, unfulfilling and difficult life. But with Jade, she's got eight million pounds and can do whatever the fuck she likes.

BILLY V2.0 · Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:29 am

it is infuriating. she has in no way bettered herself since she's gained her wealth either. apparently she has had surgery but she still looks fucking awful.

the main headline on sky news is "jade starts race war with india" - i actually laughed at first, but now i just feel empty.

Dananiel · Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:40 am

Oh well, this never fails to make me laugh-

http://www.youtube.com/watch!v=GhWJpXX6v1E

I love that he appears to be completely losing his mind.

BILLY V2.0 · Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:58 am

haha, it doesn't top this though

http://www.youtube.com/watch!v=sabdGn23z58

Dananiel · Thu Jan 18, 2007 4:18 am

Haha, yeah that's great. I stopped watching because there was nobody like Alex anymore. He was clearly a bit of an idiot, but it was easy to laugh at him. I saw some of the last one and they were all nasty, contrived wankers.

Apparently Alex did a Domestos advert, ran away to Germany and killed somebody by running them over.

Still, not as bad as Lesley from...dunno, few years ago? She was like Jade but just extremely boring. She's a prostitute now and got raped last year. Funtimes!

RChappo · Thu Jan 18, 2007 5:08 am

I don't watch any Big Brother. I never have watched it but it's been all over the news on Radio Five Live for the last few days so it's been pretty hard to avoid. I wish they wouldn't report it as news...it's a fucking telly program. I can't quite believe anyone watches it anymore to be honest...even the yanks got bored with their Big Brother after about 2 seasons.
What also amazes me is that anyone is surprised that Jade Goody (or whatever her name is) et al come across as thick, bitter, racist chavs. Erm....wasn't that a bit obvious beforehand??? I mean it is Big Brother not Brideshead Revisited for fucks sake!!!

Anyway...this is all just a long way to get around to saying...

That Shilpa...she's a bit of alright isn't she!!!?

It'll be Wanky Goes To Bollywood for me tonight I can tell ya! ;)

*phwoar*

:P

BILLY V2.0 · Thu Jan 18, 2007 5:24 am

RChappo wrote:
It'll be Wanky Goes To Bollywood for me tonight I can tell ya! ;)

*phwoar*

:P

fuck sake, i just choked on my cup of tea reading that, you randy sod :D

that lesley was an utter rotter. if i remember it correctly she came in the house in a PVC nurses outfit or something, despite being overweight and in no way attractive. i really liked alex. he used to moan about people pissing in the shower, all fucking day. he's like my nan in the body of a camp twenty-something. a few series later there was that stuart bloke who was just a complete wimp, and let that michelle more or less rape him on live telly.

anyway i'd be surprised if the producers don't somehow inform the housemates to tone it down or something, either that or they'll just edit it until it's more or less unwatchable, because there were some new clips on sky news not long ago so it's obviously still going on. shilpa has gone into the diary room and said she thinks some of it is racist now, so they're going to have to act

Dananiel · Thu Jan 18, 2007 5:48 am

Yeah, Lesley was really classy-

The producers are already trying to balance things out. They got Danielle in and confronted her about her racist remark and basically forced her to say sorry. But she doesn't mean it, she's just that girl who flutters her eyelashes and pouts and says sorry to get out of anything. She's just thick, though. I don't find her massively annoying. I find Jo quite annoying, though. You can always tell she's just waiting for Shilpa to do absolutely anything so she can pull that face that looks like she's smelling dog shit. Get over yourself, you live in Essex breeding dogs, you twat.

RChappo wrote: I don't watch any Big Brother. I never have watched it but it's been all over the news on Radio Five Live for the last few days so it's been pretty hard to avoid. I wish they wouldn't report it as news...it's a fucking telly program. I can't quite believe anyone watches it anymore to be honest...even the yanks got bored with their Big Brother after about 2 seasons.
What also amazes me is that anyone is surprised that Jade Goody (or whatever her name is) et al come across as thick, bitter, racist chavs. Erm....wasn't that a bit obvious beforehand??? I mean it is Big Brother not Brideshead Revisited for fucks sake!!!

Yeah, but you really have to see it. I knew just how much of a racist, thick, ignorant, ugly, vile piece of scum she is, but it's ten times more infuriating when you watch her in action.

AND DON'T TELL ME TO NOT WATCH I CAN'T NOT WATCH IT'S IMPOSSIBLE NOW I'M IN TOO DEEP.