Wernham Hogg Forum

BILLY V2.0 · Mon Mar 13, 2006 2:11 am I am in love!

With a girl, but she doesn't know it yet.

There is a girl at my college, who is the single most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes upon. She is blonde, with blue eyes and is half Dutch. She is so amazing. I held the door open for her last week, and she said thanks. I said you're welcome. Where will our whirlwind romance take us next?

What shall I do to woo her? I almost struck up a conversation about Edam cheese, but I didn't want to come off as a bit of a racist.

LankyGoggleEyedFreak · Mon Mar 13, 2006 2:46 am

haha!

Want my advice? Make sure you woo her and not her woo you....always ends in disaster.

RChappo · Mon Mar 13, 2006 2:19 pm

Something about tulips around an organ?

Dananiel · Mon Mar 13, 2006 2:35 pm

Just talk to her about stuff we used to talk about.

The Great Spoon Face · Mon Mar 13, 2006 6:43 pm

Good post. Nice one. Just construct a giant corridor that covers her whole way home and then add loads of doors to it. Then on her way home she will have to enter the corridor and go through loads of doors. Meanwhile you'd be ahead and ready to open all the lovely doors for her.

Dananiel · Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:28 pm

I like your point-scoring logic. Its like, if you score points with a girl for opening a door for her, imagine how far you could go with her if there were hundreds of doors to open for her! Sadly, the novelty would get thin and a new gesture would be needed. Perhaps the worlds longest dining table with hundreds of seats just waiting to be tucked in.

RChappo · Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:56 pm

The whole "opening doors" thang doesn't cut any ice anymore with the ladies, at least where I'm from. Obviously with me being married I do it just to be polite and not to try and gain fellatio or anything. The most I usually get these days is the person involved to look at me as if they've got shit under their nose. :?

Dananiel · Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:01 pm

Modern girls don't care about door opening, they want casual sex and fat bass hooks, and as far as I can tell, neither can be achieved from a door. Unless you're in one of those revolving doors with Gary Numan and a very accomodating whore.

BILLY V2.0 · Tue Mar 14, 2006 4:46 am

Today she saw me eat a very ketchupy chip and get ketchup on my chin.

Goodbye.

RChappo · Tue Mar 14, 2006 5:53 pm

Avoid all condiments if you are trying to woo a girl. It always ends in tears.

The Great Spoon Face · Tue Mar 14, 2006 6:33 pm

When will the human race learn? You can only eat in front of the opposite sex after about three weeks of knowing them or if you own a big shield.

LankyGoggleEyedFreak · Tue Mar 14, 2006 6:41 pm

At least it was only a chip....stay clear of the Big Mac.

Dananiel · Tue Mar 14, 2006 7:08 pm

Stay clear of the Big Mac is generally good advice

Turtlebonce · Tue Mar 14, 2006 8:36 pm

How many times have you wanked over her so far? im guessing 20-30.

Suggest to her that you watch some dutch porn together. Casually mention you think amsterdam's a great place. She'll get the hint. If she doesnt, then youve watched some great porn, and expressed an opinion.

Dananiel · Tue Mar 14, 2006 8:53 pm

See, I wanna know what he'd do if he found out she was a ladyboy. I don't know if he's genuinely just interested in them or if he would be prepared to have it off with one. I'd be worried that I might be sick and or shit myself when the cock came out, if I'm honest.