Wernham Hogg Forum

nospam · Sat Aug 25, 2007 2:26 pm My girlfriend

Well we're on a break but it's amicable. By amicable I mean, she wants, I'm accepting it.. it's a shame, I love her and want to be with her for a lot longer so I'm trying to do a few things to change things that make her unhappy like trying not to take drugs, getting a job, a nicer place to live... cos she's twenty-six and she's a successful fashion journalist and lives in a nice primrose hill house and i just bum around there. But the bad thing is that we talk and suddenly I feel like I don't know where I stand, like I'm in complete limbo with her. Cos she's got the upper hand and I'm scared we'll just drift apart and it'll be over - what with me being sixty plus miles away from her at the moment. So I'm wondering what to do... I'm trying not to call her as to give her space (cos she's told me she misses me and she's the type of girl who will want me back after a few days once she's huffed and puffed her way out of her idea of a break) but when I do call her I find it awkward because it's almost me admitting more defeat, and I'm the one chasing. Like I called her last night and she was asleep (12.30am, that's good) so she was angry I hadn't called earlier, but how was I supposed to know? Also, as she works in an office 9-5 it also annoys me our e-mail corrospondence has started to die.. but I am reluctant to re-light it cos it's more defeat from my side.. and I can't just sit back and let her walk all over my feelings, so I have to be strong to an extent... But the final thing that's bugging me is that I did send her an e-mail last night about something and I got an auto-reply saying she's on holiday til' Sept 3rd (the reason I ended up calling her last night)... it's annoying because I love it when she takes a holiday and we'd usually just hang out and spend lots of time together in the day time rather than just night time and weekends. So I'm a little upset at that. And also, I'm off to Reading tomorrow and I might get in a pickle where I need to crash somewhere in London afterwards.. so I'm not gonna drink so if I need to give her an emergency call I won't be a zombie walking into her house, but it's a shame she hasn't even offered to have me over afterwards or whatever.. in fact, another thing is that she hasn't made any kind of effort to set the next date we'll see each other?.. Which bugs me as it means I have nothing to look forward to. It's a little upsetting. She says what I'm doing is all good and she's proud of me (sitting online trying to find a job, picked up my writing again, the band etc) but her being proud ain't gonna get me laid.. (joke)... So that's why I've put this situation in the bad stuffe category cos right now I really ain't got a clue where I stand.... Eek..

RChappo · Sat Aug 25, 2007 2:47 pm

Hmmm...tricky. Have you told her you love her? Maybe she feels she's in the same limbo with you? It's good that you are trying to cut out the things that annoy her, particularly the drugs bit (call me a prude but that shit is bad news for everyone I think). I wouldn't worry about her having the "upper hand" as it were - because if a relationship is going to work out there is no such thing...what's mine is yours and all that, that's really the only way it can work. If you ARE making an effort to get a job, place to live etc etc and she's not dropping major hints that she thinks your a freeloader then you're ok in that respect. (if she IS dropping hints even though she can see you're making an effort then she's probably a bad 'un...she should be supporting you).

Sounds like one of you has to lay their cards down on the table one way or another.

:|

nospam · Sat Aug 25, 2007 2:54 pm

RChappo wrote: Hmmm...tricky. Have you told her you love her? Maybe she feels she's in the same limbo with you? It's good that you are trying to cut out the things that annoy her, particularly the drugs bit (call me a prude but that shit is bad news for everyone I think). I wouldn't worry about her having the "upper hand" as it were - because if a relationship is going to work out there is no such thing...what's mine is yours and all that, that's really the only way it can work. If you ARE making an effort to get a job, place to live etc etc and she's not dropping major hints that she thinks your a freeloader then you're ok in that respect. (if she IS dropping hints even though she can see you're making an effort then she's probably a bad 'un...she should be supporting you).

Sounds like one of you has to lay their cards down on the table one way or another.

:|

Well it's just awkward cos obviously we both want to be with each other but recently we've had blazin' rows n the such.. but I spoke to her after I penned this message and it was awkward but only because I think I was making it.. I just want her to take me back with open arms and obviously I gotta work harder than that. Also, I think, in her mind, she's probably scared I'll go off to Reading tomorrow and fuck some other girl or whatever.. thing is, we can't really have a whats mine is yours because we're not living together and we've only been together for a year and a bit... I don't think she's calling me a freeloader.. I do earn money and at times quite a lot of it.. it's the quiet periods in my life where the problems arise.. because I've nothing to be getting on with... and then when she's skint too, it's extra stressful for her. I think things will work out, she's not going anywhere fast, she's about to leave ELLE (the magazine she writes for) and go freelance so that'll be less stressful and she'll also be earning much more money for less work so hopefully that'll calm her down a bit.. and hopefully around that time I'll also being a little more productive too so we can live like happy families.. oh yeaaah...

Final thing, she'd invited me to New York for a week in September (she's off to interview Gwen Stefani) so we'd have all expenses paid hotels and shit.. I just needed to get my plane fare... so I'd been working on getting some DJ slots over there to pay for my trip, but with us on the rocks now, don't think I'll be going.. so hopefully we'll work it out before then... we'll see..

Elliott · Sat Aug 25, 2007 8:56 pm

All you have to do with women is tell them how totally desperate you are to be with them, the more heartwrenching you can make it the better, perhaps throw in something terminal.

That, or....hypnosis! :shock: :shock: :shock:

nospam · Sat Aug 25, 2007 9:16 pm

I'm just not going to think about it and enjoy my time alone, ohhh... I spent about thirty minutes on the phone to old flame earlier. Oops. I'm meeting her at Reading tomorrow but nothin' will 'appen I tells ya.

BILLY V2.0 · Sat Aug 25, 2007 10:06 pm

nospam · Sat Aug 25, 2007 10:32 pm

Dananiel · Sat Aug 25, 2007 10:58 pm

You see me, yeah? Do the opposite of that. You'll be fine.

RChappo · Sat Aug 25, 2007 11:06 pm

Ronnie I think the choice of a t-shirt saying "Fuck Off" in big letters might not be sending out the right message to da ladies :wink:

BILLY V2.0 · Sat Aug 25, 2007 11:12 pm

she's lovely. tell her you love her, asap

nospam · Sun Aug 26, 2007 2:11 am

Well she actually likes that one. I have a few in different colours, she doesn't like the 'SELFISH CUNT' one I wear around where she lives though. Ahh well, can't win 'em all... and LDIF, you're right... she is lovely, absolutely lovely... I am sending her nice messages and her she can't reply cos her phones disconnected til' Tuesday which is almost a bonus cos she'll saviour them more..

BILLY V2.0 · Mon Aug 27, 2007 1:32 pm

i'm not ldif! stop taking drugs ronnie, your mechanisms gone

nospam · Tue Aug 28, 2007 11:17 am

oh yes, you're billy?

Pah. · Tue Aug 28, 2007 4:16 pm

LDIF doesnt live here anymore.

nospam · Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:16 pm

So not really any better after the weekend. On Thursday I met her in Regents Park for a chat. Didn't go so well.... on the Friday I returned things went a little better, due to alcohol and sex. But by Saturday morning that was all over and she was still insisting we were not together. After our gig on Saturday nigth she had invited me back to hers via text... I decided to stay out but then at 3am when the night was over, I jumped in a taxi to go to hers... lying saying my friend had dissapeared... well this is where the painful thing happened. Being a little drunk, I decided that I would shortchange the taxi driver. I had five pound coins in my pocket, and had used the taxi drivers phone to text my girlfriend to tell her I was coming to hers. So he had her number. #1: bad move. She had called me on my phone after so he knew I had a phone. #2: bad move. So when I got to her house, she lives in a mews so he parked just before it.. so he didn't actually know which house she lived in..... He refused to let me out until I left something behind. I was not going to give him my phone, and grabbed my bag and tried to get out of the car... as this happened, he grabbed my bag and then rolled over my foot with the tyre of the car. OH MY GOD IT HURT! and I was screaming in the middle of the street going, "GET OFF MY FOOT! YOU'RE BREAKING MY FOOT!" literally screaming my fucking lungs out.. the bastard then rolled back OVER IT AGAIN. oh god. Luckily, a black taxi had stopped to help me. I just got up and ran for my life to her house.. the driver didn't know where I'd gone and I collapsed in pain on my girlfriends floor in absolute agony.. so scared... hyper ventilating and crying.. oh it was awful. She was trying to console me, scared I'd end up fitting or something, it was terifying. He was then trying to call her phone but she didn't answer. The voicemail was him panicking, saying he needed that cash to make a living... but it was all horrible... so by the time Sunday came, obviously the thought she had that I constantly cause her stress continued to prove her right..... we went for coffee, then a movie (1408 - it's utter shite) and then argued again. Oh, great.