Wernham Hogg Forum

Elliott · Fri Oct 05, 2007 12:03 am Bad films I've seen lately

I have a cineworld pass, which means for £15 a month I get unlimited cinema trips, which for no. of films I see is a good deal. Before I got the pass, someone else with one said the drawback was the extra viewings of films you wouldn't pay to see.
So in the last week:

War
Jet Li / Jason Statham martital arts flick.
Should be simple, two actors known for action films fight lots of people, and according to the poster and trailer, each other.
They didn't really fight each other, and the plot was just dull, until a twist at the end that was ok, but was still a waste of everyone's time. There's a reason you have not heard of this film.

The Brave One
Jodie Foster does Deathwish.
People like vigilante films. When you're watching a flick, and you know a character is just a bastard, it's satisfying to see street justice.
After Jodie and her bloke are attacked, she buys a gun for some reason, but really wants one so gets it illegally. Then Jodie is lucky enough to be in a shop that's robbed, and she shoots the bad guy, but oh no, illegal gun, best not tell the police but instead hang around dodgy neighbourhoods waiting to be attacked so you can shoot people. Then finally at the end of the film get reminded, for she had forgotten, about those who attacked her in the first place. Then film ends, with no real message or point.

Across the Universe
Beatles musical
This was made, back in the eighties, as Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band. Almost.
The problem with doing a Beatles musical is the temptation to say, have a character called Prudence, so that you can crowbar in the song Dear Prudence. The entire plot was written in this manner. At one point, after smashing up a place while singing Revolution, one character asks of another "Why did you do that?"
Because the Beatles wrote a song that we had to fit in that's why!
I got through this because I love the Beatles, and wanted to see if they had the balls to cover something like You Know my Name (they didn't).
Some cool sequences, but that's all. The fact at one point someone says "She came in through the bathroom window" says it all.

Dananiel · Fri Oct 05, 2007 12:09 am

90% of films are shit. That's just fact.

BILLY V2.0 · Fri Oct 05, 2007 12:11 am

war looks great! i really like jason statham, and if it's anything like transporter, i know i'll love it. i want to see shoot em up as well, at some point.

your review of that beatles song reminds me of the joe cornish review of that rolling stones film on their xfm show, alot

there's trailers for a saw 4 now. 4?! fucking hell. i watched saw 1 and found it unbearable. the plot twist was mildly interesting, and 10 minutes into saw 2 i realised how utterly pointless the whole thing was and switched off.

Elliott · Fri Oct 05, 2007 12:22 am

Yeah, War did look great!

Thing is, they have one fight, and as it's shit and I don't care if I put you off seeing it as you'll thank me if you actually do, the two characters don't really want to fight by that point anyway!

Imagine a dvd release martial arts flick that somehow has managed to get Jason Statham and Jet Li in it. Unimpressive fights, silly plot, and generally a poor cousin of any decent action flick.

Shoot Em Up is good.
Not great, like I really wanted it to be, but definitely all the slightly tongue in cheek action and dialogue you could wish for. Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti are having a ball.

Pah. · Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:35 pm

Run Fat Boy Run, the most wooden piece of rom com tripe ever created. Just, what was the point? If it was supposed to be a comedy put more jokes in, and if it's just a romantic film then make it more appealing to 'chicks' who like to flick. dirty. Made me homesick also.

Elliott · Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:52 am

I know, I should totally go and see that film, but, but... well, maybe when it's on telly.

Delphi · Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:51 am Re: Bad films I've seen lately

Elliott wrote: I have a cineworld pass, which means for £15 a month I get unlimited cinema trips, which for no. of films I see is a good deal. Before I got the pass, someone else with one said the drawback was the extra viewings of films you wouldn't pay to see.
So in the last week:

War
Jet Li / Jason Statham martital arts flick.
Should be simple, two actors known for action films fight lots of people, and according to the poster and trailer, each other.
They didn't really fight each other, and the plot was just dull, until a twist at the end that was ok, but was still a waste of everyone's time. There's a reason you have not heard of this film.

The Brave One
Jodie Foster does Deathwish.
People like vigilante films. When you're watching a flick, and you know a character is just a bastard, it's satisfying to see street justice.
After Jodie and her bloke are attacked, she buys a gun for some reason, but really wants one so gets it illegally. Then Jodie is lucky enough to be in a shop that's robbed, and she shoots the bad guy, but oh no, illegal gun, best not tell the police but instead hang around dodgy neighbourhoods waiting to be attacked so you can shoot people. Then finally at the end of the film get reminded, for she had forgotten, about those who attacked her in the first place. Then film ends, with no real message or point.

Across the Universe
Beatles musical
This was made, back in the eighties, as Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band. Almost.
The problem with doing a Beatles musical is the temptation to say, have a character called Prudence, so that you can crowbar in the song Dear Prudence. The entire plot was written in this manner. At one point, after smashing up a place while singing Revolution, one character asks of another "Why did you do that?"
Because the Beatles wrote a song that we had to fit in that's why!
I got through this because I love the Beatles, and wanted to see if they had the balls to cover something like You Know my Name (they didn't).
Some cool sequences, but that's all. The fact at one point someone says "She came in through the bathroom window" says it all.

Now there's 6 or 7 hours of your life you'll never get back...poor Ellikins...I feel your pain. :(

Pah. · Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:44 pm

anyone seen darjeeling limited yet? i sort of liked it but felt owen wilson didnt fit into the role at all, and had no physical resemblance to the other two similar looking 'brothers' and too many of the shots seemed waaaaaay too contrived. I havent seen mich Wes Anderson stuff but i'm searching for someone with a Rushmore dvd.

BILLY V2.0 · Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:50 pm

i really want to see hitman

Elliott · Tue Nov 27, 2007 1:07 am

Rushmore is bad, Hitman will be bad.

Really, it will. It's the new Equilibrium, trust me.

BILLY V2.0 · Tue Nov 27, 2007 1:13 am

equilibrium is an amazing film 8)

Delphi · Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:34 am

You didn't like Rushmore??? Wha???? It was good...almost very good I thought! Did you like the Royal Tannenbaums?

Elliott · Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:55 am

Oh god, the Royal Tennenbaums stands out as one of the worst films I've seen. Just everything about cinema that I hate. How about a plot Wes?

That said, I did enjoy the Darjeeling Litmited, I think because it wasn't going for laughs all the way through, and me and Wes Anderson definitely don't share a sense of humour.

Ellen's right - why use Owen Wilson when you could use Luke, who looks like the other brothers?! Crazy days.

Oh, Sleuth deserves a mention in this thread. I'm worried you're all gonna turn round and say "sleuth - you idiot! you awful idiot".
It is bad.

Pah. · Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:29 pm

sleuth - you idiot! you awful idiot

Elliott · Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:50 am

Fred Claus.

Why do I do this to myself.