Wernham Hogg Forum

nospam · Sexmonster Joined: 03 Nov 2006 Posts: 685

I will probably get the piss taken out of me for this but yeah, if you write, and they're lyrics, or poems, or whatever, post 'em in here ?
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nospam · Sexmonster Joined: 03 Nov 2006 Posts: 685

screw you daN
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Dananiel · Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:59 pm Post subject:

Wander Desolate

I enter a lovely room
I sit down and play some Doom

I enter a lovely shop
I purchase myself some pop

I enter my lovely bank
They stare at me all blank

I enter a squalid house
I perform lewdness with a mouse

I enter my lovely wife
She cries

The NHS Blues

I walk into a bar
I order a beer
The barman takes my money
I've got everything to fear

My mum says cheer up
My problems are rife
She says, "you don't have a terminal illness"
I say I do, it's called life.

Dance Like A Robot

Oh how I wish I was a robot
To dance, to swing
Oh how I wish I was a robot
And be a robo-queen

I'd sparkle like a disco
Powered by Castrol GTX
Oh how I wish a robot
And have some robot sex

I can win the competitions
I am a robot dancer
With a penchant for ballroom
Because my father died of cancer

Oh how I wish I was a dancer
I'm just programmed that way
My time will come, and then you'll see
I'm a robot that is gay

Global Pain On A Global Scale

Dinner? Not for me.
I cannot come out to play
I know not the wonders of toys
Or how it feels to be gay

Dinner? Not for me.
For I am Bosnian.

Ghetto Heaven

Cracked in ice on neon skies
I am the butler that learned to fly
Touch my willy and kiss and my nose
Homeboys in heaven with combs in their 'fros

nospam · Sexmonster Joined: 03 Nov 2006 Posts: 685

Yes, Dan, I get your point re. the rhyming.
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Dananiel · Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 12:33 am Post subject:

It wasn't a pop at yours, they're just poems I wrote ages ago as a joke.

BILLY V2.0 · Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:49 am Post subject:

the nhs blues and global pain are great
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RChappo · Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:42 pm Post subject:

Hmmmm lets see... this was the first song I "wrote" circa 1995. I was trying to do a Noel Gallagher acoustic-y Oasis B-Side type of song. I'm crap at lyrics. I had someone specific in mind when I wrote it...you'll never guess who it was!

Verse
Suddenly it seems you've lost your common sense
Fallen for the traps that sometimes life sets
But you don't realise you think you're having fun
But soon you're going to wonder what went wrong

Chorus
You brought it all on by yourself x 3
So don't come running to me whenever you need help

--
Yeah. Dig it. There are more verses but that's all I'm going to share. There are far too many "you" s "your"s and "you're"s in it.

Danny Baker did "embarrasing teen poetry" on his BBC Radio London phone in show some weeks ago. There were some crackers on there!
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nospam · Sexmonster Joined: 03 Nov 2006 Posts: 685

Too Late

at the end of my tether,
with everyone, anyone,
at the end of my tether,
you all mean nothing

any slight noise or movement,
gets in crawling under my skin,
don't make a noise around me,
you'll get bitten.

close that door behind you,
you've let a cold draft in,
a chilly breeze that's leaving me,
unable to think.

at the end of my tether,
with everyone, anyone,
at the end of my tether,
you all mean nothing

I SAID I WAS AT THE END OF MY TETHER,
DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME STRAIGHT?
YOU PUSHED AND YOU PULLED AT MY STRINGS,
TIL THEY WERE SO WEAK YOU MADE THEM BREAK,
AND NOW WHAT AM I LEFT WITH EXCEPT TWO MONTHS
OF LOST DIGNITY, EMBARRASSMENT AND HEARTACHE?
EXPLAIN THAT TO ME SWEET CHEEKS, HOW EASY IT IS,
HOW EASY IT SEEMS TO BE FOR YOU TO TAKE,
THE EASY WAY OUT AND THERE'S NO HASSLE HERE,
EXCEPT WHERE THE HASSLE BEARS, WHEN THE HASSLES NEAR,
THEN YOU FREAK OUT AND IT'S BLAME TIME YET AGAIN,
WELL THERE'S NO BLAME TIME HERE ANYMORE,
I'M NOT TAKING IT FROM YOU, NOT YOU, NO MORE,
I LICK CLEANED AND SERVED YOU A SILVER PLATTER PLATE,
AND ALL YOU COULD DO WAS THROW IT BACK IN MY FACE,
WELL HONEY PIE, SUGAR CUSHIONS, IT'S TOO LATE,
YOU LOST ME.

at the end of my tether,
with everyone, anyone,
at the end of my tether,
you all mean nothing

any slight noise or movement,
gets in crawling under my skin,
don't make a noise around me,
you'll get bitten.

close that door behind you,
you've let a cold draft in,
a chilly breeze that's leaving me,
unable to think.

at the end of my tether,
with everyone, anyone,
at the end of my tether,
you all mean nothing
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it took me three attempts to register here.